Life lessons

I have been away from this space for quite some time now. Different reasons. I hate to be. 

The regular readers of this blog (me, myself, and my cousin’s pet dog) are eagerly waiting for the second part of the previous post. I know. But as the title suggests, this is something different.

Here, I am going to share a couple of highly informative and insightful conversations with you. I won’t be explaining the underlying message of each conversation, because of three reasons.

1.   I am yet to find it, will update the post, once I do. 
2.    Losers! Why do you want me to explain everything to you?
3.    Same as first reason.

 

But before that, I want to clarify a few things. 

1. The following post is not meant to offend any group of people. It is meant to offend a couple of people in particular. 
2. Not all girls are technically incompetent. I have one friend, who is a champion techie. Let’s say her name is Rachel McAdams (Not the real name). She goes on talking about the hardware configurations of electronic gadgets, and I just sit there, with my jaw dropped, and my mouth wide open, as much as the French open.
3. All the names used are fake.

Conversation #1

This took place between myself and a colleague, Yasoda Harishankar. 

Me : Wow, isn’t that a third generation iPod shuffle?

YH : Yes. (Smiles)

Me : Can I have a look at it?

YH : Oh yea, sure.

Me : What size, is this?

YH : It must be the small size, you know. As you can see, it is around three centimeters long and, um,..

Me : No, no. I mean, the storage space. 2 Gb?

Here, I was asking if it was 2 Gb, while, YH took it as I was telling her that it’s 2 Gb. She was very much impressed with my ability to assess the storage space, just by looking at it.

YH : Can you tell me how to do that?

Me : Do what?

YH : How you found out that it’s 2Gb?

Me : I was asking if it was 2 Gb. There are no ways to find out by looking at it, unless it’s written on it.

YH : Oh okay. I don’t know the size, then.

Me : What is your computer Hard disk size?

YH :  Now that I don’t know this, you assumed that I wouldn’t know that also. How mean!

Conversation #2

Ambuja Balaraman is a close friend of mine. And Bindya is her best friend, whom, I don’t know personally.

AB : Bindya’s uncle gave her an iPad.

Me : WTH! iPad? Uncle! Awesome! (My uncles. Big time losers, you all are.)

AB : Yea

Me : (Thinks for a while) Um, is she, like, committed?

AB : What!!? None of your business.

Me : No, I mean, I could marry her, if she has an iPad.

AB : What the hell? You would marry someone for a thing?

Me : No, I would never marry someone for a thing.

AB : But you just said you would marry someone for an iPad.

Me : Yea I did. But.. What? You just referred to the iPad as a thing? IS IT A THING?? IS IT??! HOW DARE YOU REFER TO IT AS A THING?? 

AB : What is it then? It is a thing. And you should never marry someone for a thing.

Me : Then what should I marry someone for?

AB : You should marry someone for the heart.

Me : Sigh. Okay. Heart. But isn’t an iPad as good as the heart?

AB : Go hang yourself, okay? Go hang.

The conversation concludes with that highly pragmatic suggestion from her. But I did brood over it for some time, and started off from where we left, the next day.

Me : I thought about whatever you said yesterday. You were right.

AB : See, so you are not as dumb as I thought.

Me : I can never marry someone for an iPad. Not really worth it.

AB : Ah! There you are!

Me : I can marry someone only if they offer me a BMW or something. Then, it will be really worth the struggle.

AB : *^@#!@*&(!@%&)(#&

Conversation #3

I am regarded as a person with no dressing sense and ridiculously bad sense of beauty, among all of my female friends. The following conversation took place between me and a colleague Archana Gunasekhar, when we met for a function. I was very keen to change the above impression by giving away compliments about dressing and makeup, and was trying the same with her.

Me : Hey! Nice dress.

AG : Thanks.

Me : And also, the make up. Especially the whitewash that you have done on your face.

AG : That’s not a whitewash, you Idiot. How dare you be so rude?

Me : Err.. I mean.. I was trying to say, the white paint that you have applied on your face looks so good 

and also, it suits you so well.

AG : ^&$!#@%^$

Converstaion #4

Between myself and Ajay (real name), who is my room mate, and also whom, I know, for the last six years. 

Time is 11 ‘o’ clock at night.

A : Dey machaa, movie? There's one show at 11.30

Me : Yea. 

Bike starts in less than a minute. 

Me : By the way,we are going for which movie?

I hope you all get the life lessons, hiding in each of these.

P.S :-

I haven’t ever met Rachel McAdams in my life. I hope I meet her very soon. If  you know what I mean. *wink* *runs*