***
what i`ve Done
I've faced myself
To Cross out what I’ve Become
Erase Myself
And let Go of What I’ve done
Put to rest
What you Thought of Me
While I clean this Slate
With the Hands of Uncertainty
***
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest
Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shed but I'm me
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you
***
This means only two things
1)I'm listening to LP right now
2)I'm totally f****d up
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Happy!
Em happy, of course I am. But I can't tell you why.(I, myself am a bit confused about the reason, actually) Of course, nothing has changed. I am still wandering around, jobless, and clueless about future. No turn arounds in love life, it's still empty. And it seems like there are quite a lot of butterflies in my stomach.. damn.. I hate it.
Ok, But I want to know the reason, just like you do. Hmm.. lemme think.
It's nice to be associated with good people, people who are actually good at heart. Sometimes, I just sense truth and sincerity in others heart, without taking much time. And it is quite a nice experience as well.
I guess my happiness comes out of that sort of a feeling.. it must be..
Ok, But I want to know the reason, just like you do. Hmm.. lemme think.
It's nice to be associated with good people, people who are actually good at heart. Sometimes, I just sense truth and sincerity in others heart, without taking much time. And it is quite a nice experience as well.
I guess my happiness comes out of that sort of a feeling.. it must be..
Monday, December 7, 2009
Void
Now that CAT is over, I am facing void again. Have got a few more exams to write, but don't really feel like studying.
Saw a malayalam movie 'Paleri manikyam' yesterday. Didn't like it much. Now em looking forward to the releases of Rocket Singh and 3 Idiots. The boredom might make me watch 'Paa' also. Heard good reviews about it.
Saw a malayalam movie 'Paleri manikyam' yesterday. Didn't like it much. Now em looking forward to the releases of Rocket Singh and 3 Idiots. The boredom might make me watch 'Paa' also. Heard good reviews about it.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Workshop woes
**This was published in the class blog a few months ago. Those who have already read it, please bear with it.
(Yet another incident from my CET life. Slight exaggerations here and there, as usual.)
Usually for Engg. students, third semester begins with a bit of relief. The feeling that 'we are also seniors' comes in and the insecure feeling is far gone. Besides that, they get relaxed, and start to master this unique technique of covering the whole syllabus on the day before the exam. The same happened with all my friends also. (I had started to apply it from first year itself.)
The easiest electronics lab in the whole of B tech course was in that semester. Electronics Workshop. But there, things were not that simple as I expected them to be. I stood inside the workshop, like a rabbit thrown into a lion's cage, in total dismay, in front of RM ma'am. Things got worse when I started to write the rough record. I had to submit it, then go and wait somewhere near the garden that we had in the middle of the dept. building, so that I can catch it when she throws it away. The throwing - catching process went on and I had to redraw pictures several times for some grave reasons like one leg of the resistor is shorter than the other, the angular distance between the legs of BC107 is not accurate enough etc. Later, when I got the first experiment signed, I was relieved, and felt like I had just completed half the requirements for a b tech degree.
But more bitter things were still in store for me. I couldn't attend the regular exams due to chicken pox. And that made me the only person to have a suppli in workshop. I attended the supplementary exam, got Hartley oscillator or something, screwed the whole thing up miserably, and failed again. That put me in one of the worst situations I had to face in my B tech life.
A s5 student attending the workshop exam with juniors.I felt like shit. I entered into the exam hall, and as soon as I saw the internal examiner, I knew that I was doomed. It was none other than S ma'am (who, later turned out to be our VLSI teacher). We were pretty familiar with each other by that time. When I had to go to the staff room related with the SB sir episode in s4, along with bond, Bimal etc., we had already had an encounter. At that time, she had blessed me with some divine words like "Nee orukaalathum gunam pidikkilla" (Translation will destroy it's beauty.) as if I had done something highly reprehensible. (Gosh.. but all that was for not writing class notes..!!)
When I was drawing the layout, she came walking towards me, with a disdainful look.
"You stay at MH. Don't you?"
"Yes ma'am"
"So you proud MH ite, you have no intention to complete the course in four years huh?"
I didn't know how to react. I was already a bit nervous. I wanted to ask her to give me some peace of mind. I knew that it would make her more hostile. So I kept looking at my answer sheet without saying a word.
"What is your first year gpa?"
"6.4"
Right then, she sat on a stool near to me. I knew that she was not gonna leave me soon.
"What was your entrance rank?"
"194"
"What about your tenth and plus two marks?"
"94 and 88"
"Don't you feel ashamed of yourself and what you are doing? You are letting your parents down in a big way."
She was snarling at me like I just raped someone right there.
"Why don't you tell all these on another occasion?" was all what I said in my mind. I just stopped drawing with a deep sigh. I looked at her with a 'What the fuck you want' kind of an expression.
She got more furious.
"What do you think of yourself.. huh? Now, all of you MHites do have a feeling that you have conquered the world. But once you get out of the college, you will know what real life is.. At that time, you will regret thinking of all these. But it will be too late.. Your parents will also suffer for what you are doing now.."
I decided to change the track, and tried to bring a sad expression on my face as if, I was deeply moved by her words. Shook my head in between and kept staring on the floor. "Oh.. you just opened my eyes!!" was all what I wanted to convey, and from her face, I knew that I had done very well..
I saw her face expression changing. She used her palm to support her chin, and her face looked like that of someone who is at the funeral of a close relative.
"You have done a few mistakes, but now you are worried about your future, right?"
Her voice was very soft.(Er... I mean.. the maximum softness that she could bring in her voice. of course, she has got her own limits..)
I nodded very slowly.
"Why you were not able to study properly?"
For a moment, I was blank. What would I say? I can't tell her that it was because I didn't give a fuck about studying. I couldn't figure out anything quickly. So I chose the option of silence.
After a few seconds, she leaned forward, and asked in a lowered voice.
"You have any problems?"
"Eh?"
"I mean, any mental problems?"
I felt like rolling over the floor and laughing, but I did respect her concern. Somehow, I managed to keep the sadness on my face, and replied.
"No, ma'am."
"Physical?"
I wanted to say something and abandoned the idea too quickly. I had to turn my face to the other side so that she wouldn't see me smiling. I retained the sadness, and turned back.
"No"
She crossed her fingers, and said very seriously..
"Anyways, we have to find a solution. Do you study at least an hour everyday?"
"Yes ma'am"
I replied without thinking much.
"No, you don't.. Because if you did, you should have scored at least 7.5"
"Er.. actually... I started doing so only in this semester ma'am.. "
"Hmmm... That's good. You should promise me that you will continue to do that.."
"I promise, ma'am"
"That's really good.. Now go on.. "
As she left, I felt totally relieved. Somehow, I managed an output that time.. But, the trouble wasn't fully over. Viva was still left.
As I sat in front of the external examiner, she, straight away, asked me to identify some components. My eyeballs bulged outwards as if I was looking at a ufo. Examiner got a clear idea of my pathetic condition and let me go very quickly..
So that was how the thing got ended, folks.. and the only thing left was a
promise. What about that? Now, even if I tell you that I kept my word, You will take it to be a joke. Won't you??
(Yet another incident from my CET life. Slight exaggerations here and there, as usual.)
Usually for Engg. students, third semester begins with a bit of relief. The feeling that 'we are also seniors' comes in and the insecure feeling is far gone. Besides that, they get relaxed, and start to master this unique technique of covering the whole syllabus on the day before the exam. The same happened with all my friends also. (I had started to apply it from first year itself.)
The easiest electronics lab in the whole of B tech course was in that semester. Electronics Workshop. But there, things were not that simple as I expected them to be. I stood inside the workshop, like a rabbit thrown into a lion's cage, in total dismay, in front of RM ma'am. Things got worse when I started to write the rough record. I had to submit it, then go and wait somewhere near the garden that we had in the middle of the dept. building, so that I can catch it when she throws it away. The throwing - catching process went on and I had to redraw pictures several times for some grave reasons like one leg of the resistor is shorter than the other, the angular distance between the legs of BC107 is not accurate enough etc. Later, when I got the first experiment signed, I was relieved, and felt like I had just completed half the requirements for a b tech degree.
But more bitter things were still in store for me. I couldn't attend the regular exams due to chicken pox. And that made me the only person to have a suppli in workshop. I attended the supplementary exam, got Hartley oscillator or something, screwed the whole thing up miserably, and failed again. That put me in one of the worst situations I had to face in my B tech life.
A s5 student attending the workshop exam with juniors.I felt like shit. I entered into the exam hall, and as soon as I saw the internal examiner, I knew that I was doomed. It was none other than S ma'am (who, later turned out to be our VLSI teacher). We were pretty familiar with each other by that time. When I had to go to the staff room related with the SB sir episode in s4, along with bond, Bimal etc., we had already had an encounter. At that time, she had blessed me with some divine words like "Nee orukaalathum gunam pidikkilla" (Translation will destroy it's beauty.) as if I had done something highly reprehensible. (Gosh.. but all that was for not writing class notes..!!)
When I was drawing the layout, she came walking towards me, with a disdainful look.
"You stay at MH. Don't you?"
"Yes ma'am"
"So you proud MH ite, you have no intention to complete the course in four years huh?"
I didn't know how to react. I was already a bit nervous. I wanted to ask her to give me some peace of mind. I knew that it would make her more hostile. So I kept looking at my answer sheet without saying a word.
"What is your first year gpa?"
"6.4"
Right then, she sat on a stool near to me. I knew that she was not gonna leave me soon.
"What was your entrance rank?"
"194"
"What about your tenth and plus two marks?"
"94 and 88"
"Don't you feel ashamed of yourself and what you are doing? You are letting your parents down in a big way."
She was snarling at me like I just raped someone right there.
"Why don't you tell all these on another occasion?" was all what I said in my mind. I just stopped drawing with a deep sigh. I looked at her with a 'What the fuck you want' kind of an expression.
She got more furious.
"What do you think of yourself.. huh? Now, all of you MHites do have a feeling that you have conquered the world. But once you get out of the college, you will know what real life is.. At that time, you will regret thinking of all these. But it will be too late.. Your parents will also suffer for what you are doing now.."
I decided to change the track, and tried to bring a sad expression on my face as if, I was deeply moved by her words. Shook my head in between and kept staring on the floor. "Oh.. you just opened my eyes!!" was all what I wanted to convey, and from her face, I knew that I had done very well..
I saw her face expression changing. She used her palm to support her chin, and her face looked like that of someone who is at the funeral of a close relative.
"You have done a few mistakes, but now you are worried about your future, right?"
Her voice was very soft.(Er... I mean.. the maximum softness that she could bring in her voice. of course, she has got her own limits..)
I nodded very slowly.
"Why you were not able to study properly?"
For a moment, I was blank. What would I say? I can't tell her that it was because I didn't give a fuck about studying. I couldn't figure out anything quickly. So I chose the option of silence.
After a few seconds, she leaned forward, and asked in a lowered voice.
"You have any problems?"
"Eh?"
"I mean, any mental problems?"
I felt like rolling over the floor and laughing, but I did respect her concern. Somehow, I managed to keep the sadness on my face, and replied.
"No, ma'am."
"Physical?"
I wanted to say something and abandoned the idea too quickly. I had to turn my face to the other side so that she wouldn't see me smiling. I retained the sadness, and turned back.
"No"
She crossed her fingers, and said very seriously..
"Anyways, we have to find a solution. Do you study at least an hour everyday?"
"Yes ma'am"
I replied without thinking much.
"No, you don't.. Because if you did, you should have scored at least 7.5"
"Er.. actually... I started doing so only in this semester ma'am.. "
"Hmmm... That's good. You should promise me that you will continue to do that.."
"I promise, ma'am"
"That's really good.. Now go on.. "
As she left, I felt totally relieved. Somehow, I managed an output that time.. But, the trouble wasn't fully over. Viva was still left.
As I sat in front of the external examiner, she, straight away, asked me to identify some components. My eyeballs bulged outwards as if I was looking at a ufo. Examiner got a clear idea of my pathetic condition and let me go very quickly..
So that was how the thing got ended, folks.. and the only thing left was a
promise. What about that? Now, even if I tell you that I kept my word, You will take it to be a joke. Won't you??
Mr.P and Mr.B
**This was published in the class blog a few months ago. Those who have already read it, please bear with it.
*Story is real, even though it has been slightly exaggerated.
**Sorry for the nasty language in between. Couldn't avoid it.
You could imagine how happy a brother would be when the wedding of his only sister is approaching. So was I during last July, my sister's wedding was to be held on 11th of that month. But all my happiness got pulverized when the internal evaluation of our mini project was fixed on the same day. It was not possible for me to abstain from the function. My sister asked me to bunk the presentation and come straight away. I thought of asking for a special permission to present it later. But I had to meet S B sir for it and his impression of me is too good. He thinks that I am the 'Goonda of MH' or something. So such permission would be so difficult to get from him. Anyways, I decided to try since there was no other option.
When I went there, he was not in his room. P sir was sitting there. Then, I had that idea. He was also in charge of our mini project. So I'll ask him. He obviously didn't have any opinion about me. To have any opinion about the students, he must at least meet them once in a while, right?
I went near, and said, "Good afternoon sir, Em Sudeep from s6 Applied."
He raised his face and looked at me.
"Sir, can you please give me a permission to postpone my mini project viva? My teammates will present it and I can't come on that day. The thing is that...."
He didn't allow me to complete. Before that, he said, "Ok.. I'll conduct it after S8. Will that be ok with you?"
I almost said a thank you and turned back. That was the softness with which he said that.
Damn!! He doesn't want to know even the reason, I thought. I was obviously not in a mood to enjoy the sarcasm in it.
"Sir, My sister's wedding is on the same day. So... "
"Oh... is it so? Such reasons are so simple to create, right? Can you give me any proof for that?"
"Sir, I'll show you the invitation card."
"Ok.. Then show me that"
I didn't have an invitation card with me at that time. So I ran back to the hostel and came back with the card. I thought about the various possibilities for him to deny me the permission, on the way. But what happened was beyond my imagination.
I barged into the room and handed the card over to him. He started to look at it with a grim face. He was examining it so closely as if it was a document regarding national security or something. He looked at the front side of it for some time, and then turned it back. He stared at the back side for a few moments even though nothing was written there. I kept wondering what the hell was he trying to discover.
Suddenly, there arrived a triumphant smile on his face. He looked at me, proudly, as if he had defeated me in some wrestling championship. This time, B sir was also sitting next to him. P sir explained to both of us as if Sherlock Holmes was describing a case which he had proved with his dexterous maneuvers.
"This card looks pretty new. So straight from here, you went to the press and made this fake proof, didn't you?"
I was shocked to know that people, that too college professors would be this much absurd at certain times. He thinks that I could have made such a fake proof from a press within that much time!! If atleast I could think like that, I would definitely have been in a better position in my life.
I recuperated from that quickly, but couldn't easily figure out anything to defend my part.
"Go to hell, you sh*t head" was all what I said in my mind.
"Sir, usually in our place, we keep invitation cards as new. No one invites anybody with an old looking card"
I managed to say that much.
He frowned as if I had defied his great scientific discovery or something. At that moment, B sir came to my rescue. He said that it looked genuine and could be accepted as a reason. Then, P sir also agreed. Wow, what a good man he is, I thought, which was to be corrected later.
"So, what are you gonna bring us after the wedding? Bring us some sarkkara varatti"
Said P sir.
I smiled and nodded. Then, again, B sir interrupted.
"That's something we can have here also. Where is your house?"
"Palakkad, sir"
"So bring us some Palakkad special.. Hmm.. Well... I've heard that Palakkad is well known for Halwa. So bring that"
Now from where did he get all these valuable information?? I've heard about Kozhikkodan Halwa but not Palakkadan. But it was not the right time for an argument. I just wanted to get out of there, as quickly as possible.
So I smiled, and accepted everything, and said "oh.. Sure sir"
Again, he started to give me instructions like bring a piece of size this much, pack it properly and bring it to the staff room for us etc.
I, somehow managed to keep the smile on my face and nodded for all these even though I was saying "F*ck #&%$@ S*ck &&^$ @)**^ @#^& ^*^ ^%$@" in my mind. That's one of my greatest plus points. Seeing me, you will never think that this much is going on inside me.
Finally, it was over and I turned back saying “Thank you”. When I was about to get out of the room, B sir called me back.
"Hey, you.. come back here"
I went back thinking that this must be something really important, most probably regarding when would I have to give my viva. He gestured me to come near and said in a lowered voice as if he was telling me a secret which only he, in this world, knew.
"Do you know what my name is? It's B. So when you bring the Halwa, if I'm not here in my room, give it to someone else and ask them to hand it over to B sir, ok?"
"Definitely, sir"
I came out of the room. My mind reveled because I could go for the function without any worries about mini pro. I pitied B sir for taking it so seriously. But all these turned out to be irrelevant when presentation was postponed for the whole class.
***
I used to have a great bit of respect towards my teachers till I joined this college. I strongly believed that 'Guru' is equal to 'God'. For me, my parents and my teachers are the greatest gods in this world. Even during these days also, when I go home, I meet my teachers or at least call them, and get their blessings.
I do have certain regrets about my college life. I have done certain things which I should not have and I haven't done certain things which I should have. And my greatest regret is that I don't love or respect my teachers in this college the way I used to do till I reached this college. It hurts far more than screwing up my exams and spoiling my future. But such incidents help me a great deal to get rid of that regret..
*Story is real, even though it has been slightly exaggerated.
**Sorry for the nasty language in between. Couldn't avoid it.
You could imagine how happy a brother would be when the wedding of his only sister is approaching. So was I during last July, my sister's wedding was to be held on 11th of that month. But all my happiness got pulverized when the internal evaluation of our mini project was fixed on the same day. It was not possible for me to abstain from the function. My sister asked me to bunk the presentation and come straight away. I thought of asking for a special permission to present it later. But I had to meet S B sir for it and his impression of me is too good. He thinks that I am the 'Goonda of MH' or something. So such permission would be so difficult to get from him. Anyways, I decided to try since there was no other option.
When I went there, he was not in his room. P sir was sitting there. Then, I had that idea. He was also in charge of our mini project. So I'll ask him. He obviously didn't have any opinion about me. To have any opinion about the students, he must at least meet them once in a while, right?
I went near, and said, "Good afternoon sir, Em Sudeep from s6 Applied."
He raised his face and looked at me.
"Sir, can you please give me a permission to postpone my mini project viva? My teammates will present it and I can't come on that day. The thing is that...."
He didn't allow me to complete. Before that, he said, "Ok.. I'll conduct it after S8. Will that be ok with you?"
I almost said a thank you and turned back. That was the softness with which he said that.
Damn!! He doesn't want to know even the reason, I thought. I was obviously not in a mood to enjoy the sarcasm in it.
"Sir, My sister's wedding is on the same day. So... "
"Oh... is it so? Such reasons are so simple to create, right? Can you give me any proof for that?"
"Sir, I'll show you the invitation card."
"Ok.. Then show me that"
I didn't have an invitation card with me at that time. So I ran back to the hostel and came back with the card. I thought about the various possibilities for him to deny me the permission, on the way. But what happened was beyond my imagination.
I barged into the room and handed the card over to him. He started to look at it with a grim face. He was examining it so closely as if it was a document regarding national security or something. He looked at the front side of it for some time, and then turned it back. He stared at the back side for a few moments even though nothing was written there. I kept wondering what the hell was he trying to discover.
Suddenly, there arrived a triumphant smile on his face. He looked at me, proudly, as if he had defeated me in some wrestling championship. This time, B sir was also sitting next to him. P sir explained to both of us as if Sherlock Holmes was describing a case which he had proved with his dexterous maneuvers.
"This card looks pretty new. So straight from here, you went to the press and made this fake proof, didn't you?"
I was shocked to know that people, that too college professors would be this much absurd at certain times. He thinks that I could have made such a fake proof from a press within that much time!! If atleast I could think like that, I would definitely have been in a better position in my life.
I recuperated from that quickly, but couldn't easily figure out anything to defend my part.
"Go to hell, you sh*t head" was all what I said in my mind.
"Sir, usually in our place, we keep invitation cards as new. No one invites anybody with an old looking card"
I managed to say that much.
He frowned as if I had defied his great scientific discovery or something. At that moment, B sir came to my rescue. He said that it looked genuine and could be accepted as a reason. Then, P sir also agreed. Wow, what a good man he is, I thought, which was to be corrected later.
"So, what are you gonna bring us after the wedding? Bring us some sarkkara varatti"
Said P sir.
I smiled and nodded. Then, again, B sir interrupted.
"That's something we can have here also. Where is your house?"
"Palakkad, sir"
"So bring us some Palakkad special.. Hmm.. Well... I've heard that Palakkad is well known for Halwa. So bring that"
Now from where did he get all these valuable information?? I've heard about Kozhikkodan Halwa but not Palakkadan. But it was not the right time for an argument. I just wanted to get out of there, as quickly as possible.
So I smiled, and accepted everything, and said "oh.. Sure sir"
Again, he started to give me instructions like bring a piece of size this much, pack it properly and bring it to the staff room for us etc.
I, somehow managed to keep the smile on my face and nodded for all these even though I was saying "F*ck #&%$@ S*ck &&^$ @)**^ @#^& ^*^ ^%$@" in my mind. That's one of my greatest plus points. Seeing me, you will never think that this much is going on inside me.
Finally, it was over and I turned back saying “Thank you”. When I was about to get out of the room, B sir called me back.
"Hey, you.. come back here"
I went back thinking that this must be something really important, most probably regarding when would I have to give my viva. He gestured me to come near and said in a lowered voice as if he was telling me a secret which only he, in this world, knew.
"Do you know what my name is? It's B. So when you bring the Halwa, if I'm not here in my room, give it to someone else and ask them to hand it over to B sir, ok?"
"Definitely, sir"
I came out of the room. My mind reveled because I could go for the function without any worries about mini pro. I pitied B sir for taking it so seriously. But all these turned out to be irrelevant when presentation was postponed for the whole class.
***
I used to have a great bit of respect towards my teachers till I joined this college. I strongly believed that 'Guru' is equal to 'God'. For me, my parents and my teachers are the greatest gods in this world. Even during these days also, when I go home, I meet my teachers or at least call them, and get their blessings.
I do have certain regrets about my college life. I have done certain things which I should not have and I haven't done certain things which I should have. And my greatest regret is that I don't love or respect my teachers in this college the way I used to do till I reached this college. It hurts far more than screwing up my exams and spoiling my future. But such incidents help me a great deal to get rid of that regret..
The rain that brought some thoughts
**This was published in the class blog a few months ago. Those who have already read it, please bear with it.
Days seem so similar. Nothing much happens on a particular day. The things that I read and things that I scribble somewhere seem to be the only difference between today and yesterday. I do have a clear idea of what I want to do in my life (Of course, it has been changing from time to time). But I don’t feel like I am moving towards what I intend to achieve. “If you want to do something in your life, now is the only time to do it.” I remember reading so in a book written by Robin Sharma(Don’t exactly remember which one. The monk who sold his Ferrari, may be). That really makes sense, doesn’t it? Right now, I can’t decipher what my life is heading towards.
All these were the thoughts in my mind when I was lying on the bed last night, with total darkness around. It was 1.30 or so. My roommate was lying next to me, sleeping peacefully. Hostel was not fully asleep. There will always be someone awake at MH. I could hear a song being played somewhere.
Right then, I heard the sound of water pouring down and hitting the earth. It was raining. I got up and walked towards the window. Small water droplets were coming in. I stood there for a while, enjoying the rain, listening to the music embedded in it.
Nature beckons from outside, and I couldn’t resist it. I took my clothes off, wore a towel and ran out. In CET MH, grills are always open. So anyone could go out any time. I ran to the ground in front of the hostel and stood at the center.
I looked back at the hostel, with the cool water refreshing both my mind and body. It was an obscure view of the notorious MH. CET men’s hostel, where I arrived with a lot of hope about my future, where I had to face the worst situations of my life (as far as studies were concerned.), where I learned to stand up and fight, where my dreams got mutilated and then reverted, where I earned a lot of close friends, where I tried to walk on eggshells when small fights occurred between my friends, where I met some audacious bunch of people doing crazy things consistently and above all, where I learned a lot about life, if not about engineering. These were the things that I achieved in these four years, I could achieve only this much.
I will have to bid adieu to this place, within a few months, being jobless. But in that poignant moment, I will never regret my decision to be a part of this hostel, not one bit (huh… Joker has influenced me pretty much). Besides all the difficulties that I had to face, I will cherish each and every moment that I spent here.
Rain had almost stopped. I walked back slowly.
Days seem so similar. Nothing much happens on a particular day. The things that I read and things that I scribble somewhere seem to be the only difference between today and yesterday. I do have a clear idea of what I want to do in my life (Of course, it has been changing from time to time). But I don’t feel like I am moving towards what I intend to achieve. “If you want to do something in your life, now is the only time to do it.” I remember reading so in a book written by Robin Sharma(Don’t exactly remember which one. The monk who sold his Ferrari, may be). That really makes sense, doesn’t it? Right now, I can’t decipher what my life is heading towards.
All these were the thoughts in my mind when I was lying on the bed last night, with total darkness around. It was 1.30 or so. My roommate was lying next to me, sleeping peacefully. Hostel was not fully asleep. There will always be someone awake at MH. I could hear a song being played somewhere.
Right then, I heard the sound of water pouring down and hitting the earth. It was raining. I got up and walked towards the window. Small water droplets were coming in. I stood there for a while, enjoying the rain, listening to the music embedded in it.
Nature beckons from outside, and I couldn’t resist it. I took my clothes off, wore a towel and ran out. In CET MH, grills are always open. So anyone could go out any time. I ran to the ground in front of the hostel and stood at the center.
I looked back at the hostel, with the cool water refreshing both my mind and body. It was an obscure view of the notorious MH. CET men’s hostel, where I arrived with a lot of hope about my future, where I had to face the worst situations of my life (as far as studies were concerned.), where I learned to stand up and fight, where my dreams got mutilated and then reverted, where I earned a lot of close friends, where I tried to walk on eggshells when small fights occurred between my friends, where I met some audacious bunch of people doing crazy things consistently and above all, where I learned a lot about life, if not about engineering. These were the things that I achieved in these four years, I could achieve only this much.
I will have to bid adieu to this place, within a few months, being jobless. But in that poignant moment, I will never regret my decision to be a part of this hostel, not one bit (huh… Joker has influenced me pretty much). Besides all the difficulties that I had to face, I will cherish each and every moment that I spent here.
Rain had almost stopped. I walked back slowly.
The tachometer story
**This was published in the class blog a few months ago. Those who have already read it, please bear with it.
**Pals, here I am going to tell you a story,which actually happened in our electrical machines lab.It happened during our university exam.I am going to describe it in first person because it will make it more funny.I will not tell you the name of the real hero due to his persuasion(threats). **
(This doesn't deny the possibility of that brave soul being me.. ok??)
**Tachometer is an instrument used in electrical machines lab to measure the number of rotations of a machine. There are two types. Digital and analog. Analog is inserted at the rotating part of the machine and it displays the number of rotations. Digital produces a laser beam. It is made to fall in the rotating part and number of rotations will be displayed.
Well.. guys, as always it is, I rarely had any interest in attending classes during s6 also.Let it be theory classes, or labs, those ain't bothering me. But still, I had to get into machines lab several times for attendance. Since their department was notorious for giving lowest internal marks, friends persuaded me to get in. sometimes, I yielded, sometimes I didn't.
But of course, I never allowed anything to affect my reputation. I was deeply engaged in my own businesses when all those dirty machines worked and others took readings...
But, as usual, when the exam was coming near, I found myself at sea.(that has become so regular!!) Just one day before the exam, I started to study so hard. I didn't feel as if I've ever seen any of those machines.Dc series,shunt, and all that crap. I tried to make out how each machine looked like, how to make all those connections and all that.
Next day, I entered into the exam hall with full confidence.I got an experiment and somehow I managed to write down all the stuff.(I don't even remember which one.. Why should I? Human brain doesn't have unlimited storage like gmail inbox).
I went to fetch components. I wasn't very sure if all those were the right components since I was seeing them for the first time.(Or atleast, i felt so..) The component list consisted of one thing called tachometer.I had a clear idea of how it was used. My friend had explained everything with hand gestures since it was impossible to have a real instrument. Right then, a question came towards me.
"You want a digital tachometer or an analog one?"
Well... that was a situation which I had never thought of.I didn't even know that two types existed.I was so confused as if a child was asked to choose between his mom and dad.
Now lemme tell you guys, when such a crisis occurs in your life, try to be purely logical, listen to your brain..
And that was exactly what I did..
Analog and digital.. Both of them revolved around my head.. digital.. means what? only ones and zeros.. thats much better.. isn't it?
I thought of the two subjects that we studied in 4th semester.. Analog(communication) and digital(electronics).. I thought of the way in which I miserably failed in one of them and managed to secure passmark in the other.. wow!! That was the most logical thing that I had ever thought of..
I said in a firm voice "digital..."
Somehow, I managed to make all the connections. I turned the machine on. I had to measure the number of rotations of the machine. So, that was where tachometer came into play. I tried to memorize what my friends explained to me. Tachometer had to be inserted at one end of the rotating part. I looked at the end of the tachometer and the hole in the machine.
"Naa... this isn't gonna make it"
I was pretty sure about that. The hole was too small. I walked to the other side of the machine. The hole on that side was slightly bigger. But still, I was confused like a baby in a topless bar. I was very sure that this was the way in which a tachometer was used. May be, I'll have to insert it forcefully, I thought.
I took two steps backwards. With all my strength, I tried to insert the tachometer.
"No... Not like that !!!!"
There came a roar from behind. When turned back, I saw the lab attender running towards me. He grabbed the tachometer.
"Is this your first time here?"
He said in a grim voice. I shrugged as if I was being accused of something which I never knew about. He gave me an angry look and showed me how to use the digital tachometer. For the rest of the experiment, it was him who took the readings. May be he shuddered that I would damage anything.
When I told this to all my friends later, they were all laughing just like they were watching a Jim carry movie or something. What is there to laugh so much... huh?? I handled it very well eventhough I didn't know a thing about all those machines and instruments.didn't I??
What do you guys say??
**Pals, here I am going to tell you a story,which actually happened in our electrical machines lab.It happened during our university exam.I am going to describe it in first person because it will make it more funny.I will not tell you the name of the real hero due to his persuasion(threats). **
(This doesn't deny the possibility of that brave soul being me.. ok??)
**Tachometer is an instrument used in electrical machines lab to measure the number of rotations of a machine. There are two types. Digital and analog. Analog is inserted at the rotating part of the machine and it displays the number of rotations. Digital produces a laser beam. It is made to fall in the rotating part and number of rotations will be displayed.
Well.. guys, as always it is, I rarely had any interest in attending classes during s6 also.Let it be theory classes, or labs, those ain't bothering me. But still, I had to get into machines lab several times for attendance. Since their department was notorious for giving lowest internal marks, friends persuaded me to get in. sometimes, I yielded, sometimes I didn't.
But of course, I never allowed anything to affect my reputation. I was deeply engaged in my own businesses when all those dirty machines worked and others took readings...
But, as usual, when the exam was coming near, I found myself at sea.(that has become so regular!!) Just one day before the exam, I started to study so hard. I didn't feel as if I've ever seen any of those machines.Dc series,shunt, and all that crap. I tried to make out how each machine looked like, how to make all those connections and all that.
Next day, I entered into the exam hall with full confidence.I got an experiment and somehow I managed to write down all the stuff.(I don't even remember which one.. Why should I? Human brain doesn't have unlimited storage like gmail inbox).
I went to fetch components. I wasn't very sure if all those were the right components since I was seeing them for the first time.(Or atleast, i felt so..) The component list consisted of one thing called tachometer.I had a clear idea of how it was used. My friend had explained everything with hand gestures since it was impossible to have a real instrument. Right then, a question came towards me.
"You want a digital tachometer or an analog one?"
Well... that was a situation which I had never thought of.I didn't even know that two types existed.I was so confused as if a child was asked to choose between his mom and dad.
Now lemme tell you guys, when such a crisis occurs in your life, try to be purely logical, listen to your brain..
And that was exactly what I did..
Analog and digital.. Both of them revolved around my head.. digital.. means what? only ones and zeros.. thats much better.. isn't it?
I thought of the two subjects that we studied in 4th semester.. Analog(communication) and digital(electronics).. I thought of the way in which I miserably failed in one of them and managed to secure passmark in the other.. wow!! That was the most logical thing that I had ever thought of..
I said in a firm voice "digital..."
Somehow, I managed to make all the connections. I turned the machine on. I had to measure the number of rotations of the machine. So, that was where tachometer came into play. I tried to memorize what my friends explained to me. Tachometer had to be inserted at one end of the rotating part. I looked at the end of the tachometer and the hole in the machine.
"Naa... this isn't gonna make it"
I was pretty sure about that. The hole was too small. I walked to the other side of the machine. The hole on that side was slightly bigger. But still, I was confused like a baby in a topless bar. I was very sure that this was the way in which a tachometer was used. May be, I'll have to insert it forcefully, I thought.
I took two steps backwards. With all my strength, I tried to insert the tachometer.
"No... Not like that !!!!"
There came a roar from behind. When turned back, I saw the lab attender running towards me. He grabbed the tachometer.
"Is this your first time here?"
He said in a grim voice. I shrugged as if I was being accused of something which I never knew about. He gave me an angry look and showed me how to use the digital tachometer. For the rest of the experiment, it was him who took the readings. May be he shuddered that I would damage anything.
When I told this to all my friends later, they were all laughing just like they were watching a Jim carry movie or something. What is there to laugh so much... huh?? I handled it very well eventhough I didn't know a thing about all those machines and instruments.didn't I??
What do you guys say??
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