Update

Nothing much to update. Have a couple of half written posts waiting in the drafts, but when I read them, I just realise how lame they are. Have been to Coimbatore for a couple of days. That place is not too far from the border of Kerala, but the difference in culture just amazes me. And yea, the diffrence in bus charges, too. I could travel ten kilometers for 3.5 rupees, while that is just the minimum charge here in Kerala.

Btw, I got my perkytweets Tee. In case you don't know, it's a contest conducted by Blogadda, in Twitter, for writing crispy one liners. The one that I wrote was, 'Dabangg broke 3 idiots' initial collection record. An idiot alone, defeated three idiots'. Ok, I know what you are thinking. If I could win a T shirt for that lame joke of mine, the funny people among you could probably win a textile shop itself. I don't know how I won the prize, but I really appreciate their kindness for sending me a free T shirt. I would appreciate it even if any of you did the same. Wanna check? Try sending me one.

For an amatuer Unix user, is Ubuntu the better choice? Let me know, in case you have any idea.

Simply try Googling the word amatuer. Aha! What results!

What a day, in other words, Wordpress or Blogger

What a day. Serene. Beautiful. Just can't refrain myself from typing a few lines.

In the morning, my sister prepared a hot and sour chicken soup for me. It was so spicy, that simply the fumes from it could probably burn a paper. But once she cooks something for me, I must have it. That's what the deal is. Besides, I just can't disappoint her. So, I had it, managing a smile on my face, and also, nodding in appreciation. I saw the love which was served along with it, and, hopefully, nobody saw the smoke that was coming out of my ears.

Then, while taking bath, I applied this mixture of shikakai and I don't know what all other things, on my hair, as a part of my persistent duel with dandruff. A bit of that mixture oozed into my eyes. If I had to wash my eyes with either this mixture or the soup that I had in the morning, I would have chosen the soup. After a frantic effort to wash the eyes, everything looked ok to me. I could see everything, and that was a strong indication of both the eyeballs being in the respective sockets. But, alas, my eyes had turned red.

I switched on the TV hoping to see a good mallu movie, and tuned into the mallu channels. There, they had this superhit movie, which was featuring in the mini screen, for the first time, as they said it. But I had seen the movie four times, in the same channel.

I switched on the computer, which was the last asylum. Opened my blogger account. Decided to check the newly introduced 'stats' section in Blogger. Got encouraged, seeing that my blog has got a total of 862 pageviews till now. For a moment only. Very soon, realised that 600 of those pageviews could be mine itself, and got discouraged by the same amount or more, by which I had got encouraged, earlier. I dug into further details, and had a look at the search terms by which people found my blog, in Google. The top two entries were these.

1. Mayanti Langer cleavage
2. Grand mathur fucking

Aha. What is this, a porn blog? The first search had this post as a result. I had written a review of the book, 'Inscrutible Americans' by Anurag Mathur, long back. The second search had that post as a result. Aargh!

So what a day it was! Agree, folks?

But apart from all that, I want to tell you something. I have started to think about the future of this blog. I created this blogger account, two years ago, while I was in college. Purpose was to write a story or rather an exaggerated description of a funny incident that happened during a lab exam, in the class blog. Then, wrote a couple of similar posts there, about some other incidents. Writing felt nice, and I started posting in this blog. I enjoyed writing, and it helped me learn, considering the fact that I had studied in Malayalam medium schools, till tenth.

There are two types of posts, here. First one, which are inspired by the incidents in my life, and also, random updates about my life.

Second, inspired by the stuff that I read. Mostly current affairs.

Over the time, I have learned that I enjoyed writing things that belong to the first group. All my friends who were forced to read, acted like enjoying, the same posts. So, I will not write anything about current affairs, from now on. And yea, none of the National and International leaders seem to care. So why would I give them more valuable inputs? Let them sort things out on their own.

Now, the next thought is whether to continue posting here, or shift somewhere else. All the embaressing things that happen in my life, always made nice posts. So, if I were anonymous, I could write more freely. Thinking. Suggestions invited.

Is Wordpress better than Blogger? In case I am shifting. Where? Again, suggestions invited.

Anyways, a few changes are on the cards. And in the meantime, I have loads of other work to complete. Adios, for now.

Won't be posting anything in this space, for a while. That could be a week, a month or more. My posts haven't been of great intellectual value, I haven't been a regular blogger, and my posts are not anticipated by a large number of (practicallly none) followers. So why do I make an announcement like this? That's the way I am :-)

Just another tag

Don't feel like blogging. Here comes another tag that I took up from Bloody Mary.

3 places I would pack my travel bag for:

I love and traveling, and I would pack my bag for almost anywhere, but if you insist that I must choose only three, here they are:


--Jammu and Kashmir
--Botswana
--Ireland


3 on-screen characters I love to watch:

--Michael Scofield
--T bag (Both from Prison break)
--Joker from dark knight


3 moods that describe me the best:


--Absent minded. Like hell. Always lost in thoughts.
--Happy
--Sarcastic


3 things that I think of doing on a weekend but never do:


--Clean up my room
--Start the habit of getting up early
--Finish reading the unread books in my collection


3 things from my childhood I can't forget:


--Vishu celebration with all the family members at the ancestral home.
--Eating Pani puris with my cousin bro
--Listening to the stories that my mother used to tell. My fascination for stories started from there.


3 things I would never say no to:


--Milk sweets
--Cars
--Electronic Gadgets


3 things I can't live without:


--Internet
--Cell phone
--Books

Again, I tag all those who read this.

Just a tag

I got this tag from Bloody Mary. Even though, nobody tagged me, I would put it here, just to keep the blog alive.

1. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?

Nair

2. Were you happy when you woke up today?

Not particularly happy, just normal.

3. What’s something that can always make you feel better? When did you need it last?

Hugs. Around a week back.

4. What are you excited for?

Gadgets, books, movies, traveling. *censored* Quite a lot of things, actually.

5. What were you doing yesterday?

Watching CWG in TV, Drove around, in between.

6. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?

Chocolate

7. Have a best friend(s)?

Yes.

8. Are you scared to fall in love?

Not at all

9. Do you think teenagers can be in love?

Yes.

10. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?

Myself

11.What do you want right now?

I want to go to Delhi to watch CWG

12. Who was the last person you took a picture with?

My 3 month old nephew

13. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused?

Single

14. When was the last time you cried?

Don’t remember. Way back.

15. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

Yes.

16. Do you find it hard to trust others?

Sometimes.

17. I bet you miss somebody right now...

You are wrong. Totally.

18. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?

Yes.

19. Tell me what's on your mind.

Difficult to explain. I’m kinda crazy.

20. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?

Job, primarily.

21. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?

Yea. Once. Cross dressing day in college. Was real fun.

22. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?

Number 1 position is occupied by a few. Talked to one of them, yesterday.

23. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?

No. I used to have, once.

24. How's your heart?

Alive.

25. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?

I was always important. To me.

26. Do you think somebody's in love with you?

No idea.

27. What are you planning on doing after this?

At a friend’s place now. So will drive back home.

28. When will your next kiss take place?

No idea.

29. Have you told anybody you loved them today?

No

30. Who do you not get along with?

Arrogant people

31. What are you wearing right now?

Black jeans, red t shirt

32. Are you wasting your time on the person you like?

Never

33. How did you feel when you woke up?

Same as second question.

34. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?

It will be nice if someone does. But it’s ok the other way.

35. Do you crack your knuckles?

No

36. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?

Browsing the internet

37. Who's the first B in your contacts?

Balu

38. When was the last time you laughed really hard?

Last night

39. Last awkward moment?

Read the post ‘A not so good experience.’ In this blog. Just one post before this.

40. Are you afraid of the dark?

No

41. Do you have good vision?

Yes. Perfect. Only when I have my spectacles on.

42. Have you ever tripped someone?

None whom I know

43. Have you ever slapped someone?

Yes.

44. Do you laugh off embarrassing moments?

Yes

45. Can you go out in public looking like you do?

Oh yea. Who cares

46. Is it easy for someone to make you smile?

Not always.

47. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?

Yes.

48. Do you miss the way things used to be?

I do

49. How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?

Quite often

50. Want someone back in your life?

Yes. My cousin brother, who passed away a few years back.

51. Will tomorrow be better than today?

I hope so 

52. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?

Yes, especially when it’s someone whom I trust.

53. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?

Everyone does.

54. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?

Normal. Slight inclination towards the happy side.

55. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?

Hmm.. well.. No.

I tag all of you who read this

How to get over the Commonwealth Games snub: A guideline.

Dear reader, (Ahem.. I know that it’s me and me only, most of the times) before getting into the matter, let me ask you, what exactly are you looking for? A creative and innovative solution to the Commonwealth Games organizing woes? Suggestions for conducting the Games in a better way? Or lessons that we should learn from the bitter experiences? This post is, nothing of that sort.
I take great pride in being an Indian. I am a sports lover as well. If you also belong to both of these categories, there couldn’t be a tougher time for you. I am, like the most of us, embarrassed and hurt, with the controversies related with the CWG. But it is better to appreciate the positives, rather than being dejected at the negatives. The following is an attempt to implement that thinking strategy.

1.Withdrawal of athletes

CWG, is the biggest sporting event that India has ever witnessed. But many of the top class athletes have already withdrawn from it, pointing at the safety and hygiene reasons. That might look like a disappointing thing, in the first look. But, that increases our winning chances. If all the other countries pull out, we win! Commonwealth games champions! May be that was what the organizing committee had in their plans. Anyways, it didn’t work out that way, and many teams have already arrived. But still, the absence of some of the big names might help our athletes.

2.PM steps in!

You know what that means? Just when the organizing chaos was running high, our prime minister, Dr. Manmohan Singh intervened. Till then, Sheila Dikshit was announcing deadlines to announce the next deadline. Whether the PM made a change or not, I don’t know. But with all the due respect to our democracy, let me say, both our current president and prime minister are rubber stamps. Our PM is a good economist, but, never a good leader. If he was, he wouldn’t have let things go this bad.

A sardar says : I’ve been proud of the industrious nature of Sardars. I’ve never seen a Sardar begging. Alas! Just then, Dr. Manmohan Singh was made the prime minister of India.

You know what is the difference between Dr. Manmohan Singh and our local pizza store? Our local pizza store stops taking orders at 11 in the night.

These jokes sum up what I’ve got to say about our PM. But just then, the news headlines about the PM’s intervention at the CWG, gave me a feeling that he is doing something on his own. Just a feeling. But it’s better than nothing. Right?

3.DD sports in HD

Are you people aware of the fact that there is a sports channel called DD Sports? There is. Apna Doordarshan’s sports channel. The channel has been operating, very effectively, for around a decade. It has always brought high quality sporting action to us, with superb picture quality. Their programs included the live coverage of the highly exciting games like Billiards, Caroms, Kabadi etc. Inter district cricket tournament in the state of Madhya Pradesh, Three day practice match between Australia and the President’s eleven, Race between tortoises conducted in Bihar etc. were covered, enabling us to catch the nail biting action live.

Now, they are going to telecast the CWG events, that too in HD. Their obsolete equipments have been replaced, spending a huge sum of money. At least for a small period, they are going to telecast something, that people would actually watch. Thank God!

Hope these worked for you. You see more positives like these? Let me know.

P.S :- Both the jokes about Dr. Manmohan Singh were picked up from Twitter. Credit goes to the unknown authors. I, shamelessly, copied those and used them in my blog, as if they were my own creations, and hoped that no one would find out. Bad me.

A 'not so good' experience.

A quick note, this is. After quite sometime.

Whenever I get an opportunity to travel, literally, I pounce at it. Traveling, books, movies - all make me go crazy. Equally. Around a couple of weeks back, I had a chance to be at the city where I spent four important years of my life. One of my friends was with me, the experience that I was referring to, happened on our way back.

Trivandrum central railway station. Me and my friend, call him A, were waiting to get into Maveli express in which, we had booked two sleeper class tickets. Around ten minutes were left for the departure, and we located our compartment, and looked for our names in the chart outside it. A was looking at the chart very keenly, and I said, "What are you looking at man? Let's get in".

A gestured me to wait. "There is one right next to our seat, dude."

"what?" I didn't get it.

"F 18" A replied, with a smile.

"Whoa man, Let's hope she is beautiful. She might already be there at her seat. Come, let's get in" I pulled A and we both got in. But her seat was unoccupied.

"You shameless idiot. Why do you look for girls in the reservation chart?" I started an arguement with A, just to kill time.

"Oh I know the kind of a saint you are. You also do the same, don't ya?" A hit back in the same tone.

"Well, I have done it, sometimes, while traveling alone" I had to confess. "Ok, leave all that. Just five minutes left for the departure. She might come in, any moment. Don't look at her too much ok? I hold the rights for that"

"Aha. Keep holding the rights. She probably might look at me, and never at you." A replied.

"But I do have an edge, pal. My station arrives at 2 o clock in the night. I'll get up, and watch the sleeping beauty, before I get down from the train. By the time you get up, she might not be there" Just when I finished saying that, she came in.

She was fair, and beautiful. Wearing a peacock blue dress. Accompanied by two people, her grand parents, probably.

A lightning passed across my stomach. My heart sank, instantly. She couldn't walk, or stand properly. Her hands and legs were dangling, as if she had no control over it. Her grand father was carrying her, and she was trying to walk, without much success. He made her sit on the side lower birth. She was talking to them, but, it wasn't clear at all. I saw her grand mother holding a white cover on which it was written 'Department of radiology, Trivandrum medical college'

I could sense the drop of tear that was there at the corner of my eye. I looked at A. He is a religious person, and he was already aplogizing to Jesus. Both of us, silently, walked to the door. Train had already started moving.

When I woke up at 2 o clock in the night, I did look and smile at her.

Here I am, a fellow human being with countless number of imperfections and weaknesses. I live, each and every day, fighting with each of those, trying to be a better person. She does the same. The challenges that she has to overcome, is much tougher, though. But who decides that a few people have to fight a tougher battle than most of us? Why can't they be like the rest of us? I don't know. And I will never know.

Deciphering politics

Indian politics continues to be the one thing which incessantly amazes me. It is something that I would never fully understand, no matter how hard I try. Just like electronics, the subject that I took up for Engineering studies.

But being a responsible citizen of this country, I can't fully turn my face away from politics. I need to know how my country is being run, by the representatives who are chosen by the people of this country. So, this post is the beginning of my humble attempt to analyze, understand and extract the valuable politics lessons, using the current happenings as my reference. I would also try to know about the various qualities that a politician should necessarily possess in order to lead this country to prosperity. If you are a mortal in a similar confused state as mine, join in, be a part, learn these valuable lessons, and throw in your suggestions. Or if you already claim to understand politics, there.. take that envious look from me.

Lesson no.1 - Never ending fight against corruption


Yes. That's something that politicians are supposed to do and talk about, throughout their political careers. Sorry. both are same. Talking is mostly what they do. Right? You can see corruption allegations being hurled at ministers and prominent leaders very often, and never think that it's for ruining the image of the enemy or for any sort of political gains. It's all part of the selfless fight. Want to see an example? No need to look too far.

If you have been reading the newspapers, or watching any of the news channels, you would know. The Bihar government was alleged of certain financial irregularities in the recent past. The opposition is demanding chief minister Nitish Kumar's resignation. Now, if you ask me, whether the allegation has truth in it, I don't know. That is definitely out of the radar of this blog. My focus is, the fight. Have a look at a few glimpses of that.



Bihar Assembly was in utter chaos, during last week. Now, for us, no better example can be found. How to fight against corruption is just being illustrated in the picture. Still don't get it? Let me explain

You can see the picture of MLC Jyoti Kumari throwing flower pots around. Flower pots made of clay tend to break when thrown from a particular height. What an effective way to protest against the alleged financial irregularities! But this particular technique works well only if the flower pots are the taxpayer's money. That's probably the reason why the respected MLC Jyoti Kumari didn't bring her own flower pots to implement this sophisticated yet effective way of fighting corruption. A slipper was flung at the speaker by someone. You might be thinking that it was a bit of an undisciplined act and all, but that's all part of the fight. A microphone was removed and thrown away, and lot more. Read the full story here.

I have studied about our political system in Social science, during my primary school days. But I never knew the practical side of it. Neither did the school Parliament teach me anything like these. Being in the school parliament was so easy, actually. No body threw slippers at each other. But the reality seems to be different. Chaos has prevailed in many of the state legislatures recently.(Link). So the school Parliaments need to change as well. Physical training is essential for the students. Or shall we club the school parliament with, say, Sports day or something? Training in Hammer throw, Shot put etc. might turn out to be pretty handy in the parliament.

Watch out for the coming lessons. Soon.

Worldcup hangover : Things that I miss

FIFA WC 2010 has just come to it's conclusion, with Spain having the last laugh. well deserved, I would say.

For the last one month, on almost every day, I had one or two international football matches to look towards, and that was really nice, especially when the hectic time that I was having, almost jeopardized the sanity of my mind. But not anymore. Now, I am suffering from the post world cup hangover. Missing the vigor and passion of hard fought football matches. So, here comes a list of the things that I miss very badly after the exceedingly well organized one month football extravaganza in South Africa. Pardon the nonsense.

1. Shakira



Shakira and her theme song were really magical. The best thing (arguably, I know) about this world cup. There was a bit of a controversy regarding FIFA not approaching an African singer to perform the theme song. But who wants to see an African singer like Akon or K'naan perform? Not that they aren't good enough. But still, can they be as hot and sexy as Shakira? Not in my perspective(Em kinda straight, you know), and I don't know about the girls out there.

Just watched an interview of Shakira in Youtube where she talks about her WC theme song, football in general, and work that her foundation does to provide education to poor children. Find the video here. The interviewer appreciates all the philanthropic work that she does, or at least she claims to be doing. Even I appreciate the same too. But I've never seen anyone appreciating the philanthropic work of Vicente Ferrer Moncho or Jamini Bhushan Ray. The rule is quite simple. When you are an exceedingly hot female, the probability of your philanthropic/social work being appreciated is very very high.


I need to move on to the next item in the list. Let me conclude this one first.

Providing education to poor children is a great thing. Education helps us to live on this planet in a better way. Earth is such a beautiful planet and we need to conserve it. Because, earth is the only planet where Shakira exists. Damn.

2. Vuvuzela



Vuvuzela needs no introduction, for those who have been watching FIFA WC 2010 matches. Vuvuzela is the large blowing horn which produces a highly annoying buzzing sound. It is very commonly played during football matches in South Africa. The sound is so annoying that, certain television networks had to try to filter it out.

Google has even introduced a Vuvuzela button in Youtube. While watching football videos, you can blow a Vuvuzela. If you haven't seen that button yet, check out the highlights video of the Ghana Uruguay quarter final here. You can start blowing the Vuvuzela by clicking on the football shaped button seen near the pop out button.


3. Paul and his predictions

Paul is the psychic octopus who predicted the outcomes of several matches correctly. He is a maverick, indeed. He entered the field of astrology, and no other octopus has done it before.
If the Paul prediction thing had happened in India, won't the west have accused us Indians of being superstitious? Anyways, I enjoyed the buzz around his predictions, and all the lame jokes surrounding it. I miss Paul, and I am sure he is disappointed too. He hasn't got any more predictions to make. He has to live as an ordinary octopus now. What would have Paul said on the situation, if he could speak? Here comes the answer.

"Ahem.. Thanks for all your support. Now my future looks kinda empty, as the world cup is over. But on the other hand, er.. I mean, on any of the other eight hands, I have noticed certain opportunities in the form of Indian premier league. I could predict the results of those matches"

How about that? Shall we begin a campaign 'Paul in IPL'? Or shall we use him to predict the things that are likely to happen in our Indian politics, where the happening are unexpected and illogical most of the times? That could work out very well, considering the fact that Paul also doesn't have any logic or skill behind his predictions.

So, these are the things that I miss, mostly. The withdrawal symptoms are so strong that, despite not being a keen observer of club football, I have decided to keep track of all the English/Spanish premier league matches this year.

Nuggets of nonsense

I am enjoying the World cup football pretty well, especially because My fav team, Argentina is doing well. Premature exit of Italy and France was very sad. But this is not what I want to talk about.

The cleavage showing girl Mayanti Langer (Am I right?) who hosts the pre and post match show in espn/star sports freaks me out. Come on.. this is about football and all of us clearly know that she is not the best expert that we can have. She claims to have some knowledge about football, but she's far from the best. Isn't she?

Ok, men usually like cleavages and all, but why,why in a football related show?


***

Me : Do you have jeans of hip size *censored* ?
Salesman : Sorry sir, we don't.
Me : Sigh, but there in that shelf, I can see size *censored*
Salesman : That is ladies jeans, sir.
Bro chuckles. Immediately made silent with an angry stare.
Me : *^$$^%$@^#
Salesman : Sir, why don't you try the largest size in the kids section sir?
Me : (mutter) Fuck you (Normal voice)No. I'll gain some weight and come back.
Bro : (On the way back)Hey, don't walk near that dog. It might get tempted by the bones in your body. They all are too visible.
Me : Ohoho.. great joke.

Any short cuts to gain weight?

***

My bottom is on fire for the next ten days. But I can't reveal why. Being an anonymous blogger sounds like a better and better idea to me.

***

I always find facts which are contrary to the reasons when I follow reasons far enough. Do you think that it's logically possible? I need to get some sleep, I know, I know.

PS.1 - The author of this blog is not that lean as this post indicates. Actually, he is a muscle hunk, with these six, eight, I don't know how many packs and all.

PS.2 - I seriously wish if PS.1 was true

Two tragic events

Tragedy no.1 (I'm sorry if that reminded you of some lame Govinda movie. Ok, if it did, that's another tragedy. But let's say, it's far less important compared to the tragedies being discussed here)

Bhopal tragedy. But I am sure that there are some people who find it very difficult to agree with the public opinion in India, that the incident is, actually a tragedy. Why can't it be called as a comedy? It is a comedy, indeed. At least for a few people. Just consider Mr. Warren Anderson. You treat the poverty stricken people of a country as guinea pigs, continue the functioning of a plant despite serious threats being raised during a safety audit, cause 15000 deaths, conceal the composition of the gas that leaked so that the compensation to be given isn't huge, and after all these, escape to your homeland, enjoy a happy and luxurious retired life. Aha!

I remember studying about Bhopal tragedy in history text books, when I was in 6th or 7th standard. At that time, I never knew that verdict was yet to come out. The bloody thing happened in 1984, and after 26 years, we are still mourning. Do we have any right to talk about achieving developed country status? We have a huge mess to clean up before that, including our judicial system which still runs damn fucking slow.

Trgedy no.2 - Raavan

Watched Raavan three days back. A total disaster. I was so eagerly waiting for that movie. I love both the ancient epics, Ramayana and Mahabharata, for the variety and subtlety of situations and characters that they offer, if not for the philosophical aspects of them. I grew up, listening to stories from them and Puranas, and later, reading them. An adaptation of Ramayana seemed really promising to me, that too from Mani Ratnam. But the movie was totally disappointing.

Screenplay had no strength in it. It even looked too stupid at times. Abhishek has made good efforts. Aishwarya does a lot of screaming, and nothing much other than that. Govinda looks like a clown. Ok, that's the way he looks in all of his films, but come on.. This was a Mani Ratnam film.. Vikram didn't get to do much of acting.

Why I want to be a Maoist

Note :- This post doesn't have any serious political/ideological implications. Most of the posts in my blog fall under one category, nonsense. This post isn't an exception.

Quick disposal of cases against them through fast-track courts. Surrendered Maoists will go through counseling and vocational training by an NGO nominated by the state government.

They will then be provided margin money up to Rs 2 lakhs and bank loans up to Rs 10 lakhs to start businesses

This appeared in the newspapers around a week ago. The rehabilitation package offered by the West Bengal Gov. to the surrendering Maoists.

I went through this thing again and again, scrutinized it several times, tweeted about it, pondered over it again and again, and now, I have reached the conclusion. What a tempting offer! You can't blame jobless people in this country, whose I am a representative of, if they think that this is the best beginning that they can have.

Why work for a corporate company? Work for yourself. Start a business of your own. And there, the Government is, to help you with the capital. You figure out what business you want to do.

Now that I have made up my mind and chosen the different and bold path, Got to move forward with the execution. I have to surrender. But in order to surrender, I have to be a Maoist first. I am pretty sure that I am qualified enough. I have plenty of experience in putting holes on the foreheads of my opponents and spraying their blood all over. Yea.. in first person shooter games, of course. That's the closest that I was able to get to that experience. Not my fault, you know. Oh wait.. I have hit balloon targets very accurately with an air gun. Now that makes me a potential candidate.

I'm not very sure about how the applications are to be submitted. Do the Maoists have a website or somethin, where I can upload my resume to their database? They must be having something like that. I can't go all the way to West Bengal for submitting the application.

I'll get selected for sure. Unless they have a minimum height-weight or a minimum GPA criteria. Come on.. you need not be a Salman Khan to shoot innocent people or remove the fishplates of railway tracks.

After the selection, do they have a training program? I'm a fresher, new in the field, right? So I need some training. Guns in computer games don't have weight. But in real, they are all very heavy. So I might take some time to adjust with it. Hopefully, the training program will add value to myself. I wouldn't mind being in their training campus for a couple of months, unless twitter is blocked there. Can't miss the controversies that Mr.Tharoor creates. They are priceless! They come out one per week, right? Or is it one in two weeks?

During my short term tenure as a Maoist, I would like to be interviewed by Arundhati Roy. She thinks that all Maoists are Gandhians. Did she really mean that? oh.. I got it. She might have compared Maoists with the politicians in our country. Killing people with a single bullet fire is a very benign act compared to making people rot in a corrupt country.

At the end of the interview, I would like to ask her something back. She has been telling that the mining industries are disrupting the lives of tribes and they are joining the Maoists because of the Government's negligence. So how come not even a single industry been attacked by the Maoists? Why all the attacks are directed towards civilians/Policemen/Jawans? Or may be I'll find out the answers myself when I'm a part of them. Fine.. That'll do.

The interview with Arundhati Roy will appear in a major magazine/newspaper, which will make me kind of a... celebrity, you know. I like that. One lakh followers in twitter. People discussing about me being gay/not gay. Marriage followed by an immediate divorce. So, I can sell the broadcast rights of my surrendering act to a TV channel and make some money that way also.

What awaits me after the surrendering act? I would have killed a dozen people and been a part of sabotages which might have taken a couple of hundreds of lives, by that time. So, they will put me in counseling. Now, if you've been through an Engg. college, and if you haven't been the 'teacher's pet - class topper types', I am sure you've experienced intense counseling, abuse, threats etc. So counseling and all related stuff is gonna be a cakewalk.

That's all. Right after that, I will be a businessman. What business will I do? I'll decide it later. Or considering the celebrity status that I would have acquired, I might be able to make a living, endorsing products, or judging reality shows. That ain't bad either..

P.S:-

The picture was added without any intention. But the girl standing next to the guy in white dress looks good. Yet another reason to be a Maoist.

If I were..

If I were a Month, I would be December ;
If I were a Day, I would be Monday ;
If I were a time of the day, I would be morning ;
If I were a Direction, I would be Up ;
If I were an Element, I would be Mercury ;
If I were a Liquid, I would be Water ;
If I were a gemstone, I would be a Diamond ;
If I were a Tree, I would be a Mango Tree ;
If I were a Bird, I would be a Phoenix ;
If I were a tool, I would be a knife ;
If I were a pair of shoes, I would be a pair of floaters ;
If I were a color, I would be black ;
If I were an emotion, I would be Happiness ;
If I were a Fruit, I would be An orange ;
If I were a Sound, I would be Laughter ;
If I were a car, I would be Volkswagen Beetle ;
If I were a Food, I would be Gulab Jamoon ;
If I were a Taste, I would be Sweet ;
If I were a place, I would be My home ;
If I were a Body Part, I would be the brain ;
If I were Music, I would be a melody ;
If I were a Dance, I would be moon walk ;
If I were an Animal, I would be an elephant ;
If I were an Element Of Earth, I would be the Air ;
If I were a Historical Figure, I would be Udham Singh ;
If I were A Famous Actor, I would be Russel Crow ;
If I were a Book, I would be Fountainhead ;
If I were a Poem, I would be "Miles to go before I sleep" ;
If I were a Room of the House, I would be The Study Room ;
If I were a film, I would be "12 angry men";
If I were a game, I would be "Hitman";
If I were a business leader, I would be Steve Jobs;


And,
If I were some other common person other than me,







No way!! There might be hundreds of similar people, but there's only one 'me' in this world. So don't miss out on meee.. ;-)

Is death penalty the solution?

I've been reading quite a lot of newspaper articles and blogs regarding the death penalty given to Kasab. The verdict initiated a lot of heated up discussions about capital punishment, people arguing both for and against it.

According to the government, Kasab will be hanged by the end of this year, provided, he doesn't challenge the verdict in the higher courts. But what if he does? He will spend years in the jail, and atlast, will be hanged if the verdict doesn't change.

What purpose do we serve by hanging Kasab? Will that send a message to the terrorist leaders, that we, Indians will react very strongly to such acts? I don't think so. Kasab, along with all his companions, was very much prepared to die, when he came to our country. When we hang Kasab, the terrorist masterminds will laugh at us, because, they all are still safe, to plan more attacks like this.

Kasab, doesn't represent the terrorists. He just represents the brainwashed and spoiled youth. He is a 22 year old, just like any of us. He was misdirected, and was used as a tool to implement the nefarious plans of someone else.

I salute all those who lost lives in the battle, but still, I strongly disagree with Karkare's wife's demand to make the execution public. Again, what's the use? When an arrow hits you, how do you take your revenge? By breaking the arrow, or by hitting the one who shot it at you?

Instead of hanging Kasab, we need to solve the huge conundrum of which, Kasab is a very small part of. We need to strengthen our police and intelligence forces in order to make sure that such incidents don't repeat. I still remember the television picture of policemen shooting at the terrorists at CST railway station, with their rifles, reloading after each shot. The terrorists, sprayed bullets back with AK 47 s.

And quite unfortunately, the pathetic situation hasn't changed much, even after the attack. The allocation of funds has taken place, but the huge corruption takes away a large chunk of the money. Now, even if the weapons are bought, policemen are not properly trained.

As far as we can't improve on all these, all we can do is to hang Kasab. Hang him, and hail the success of our fight against terror. Keep hailing, until the next attack happens!

Down the memory lane

Joblessness makes me do weird and needless things. Today, I scanned all the old photo albums.

Most of my childhood pictures were in a pathetic condition. There were only very few good ones. One among them was this. A birthday celebration when I was in 4th standard. Later on, when I started to stay in a hostel, after my 10th standard, I wouldn't even remember my birthday, unless my mother called and reminded me in the morning.

The pictures made me think about my childhood. I was the most troublesome kid around!

I still remember my first few days in school. I refused to obey the teacher, and ran out of the class several times. My parents had to request the teacher, not to compel me to read or write. As a result, I learned to read and write, very late.

The pediatrician who used to treat me during those days, had warned my parents that it was quite probable that I would end up being a criminal or an anti social element. The nurse in that clinic used to have very tough times, trying to give me an injection.

I can remember all that, but can't really figure out the way in which I used to think.

My parents had tough times, too, bringing up a maniac like me. But, I grew up to be a very soft spoken and reserved person. My mother tells me that it's her prayers that have done this. In that case, there has been an overdoing of it, I suspect, because I am a little too much reserved now.

The vishukkani that I had

I am angry. I am sad. And it's Vishu today. A very inappropriate day to be in a bad mood. But I think I have enough reasons.

I love Vishu! I always did. Much more than any other festival. During my childhood, all my relatives used to get together at my ancestral home, to celebrate Vishu. Each group of people would have their own departments to take care of. Me and my cousins would be in charge of the crackers. May be it's those memories that has made me love Vishu so much. Each and every year, I want to be back in my village and celebrate Vishu, the traditional way.

And where am I now? Bangalore. In my cousin's house. The more annoying fact is that my sister is back there in the village, celebrating Vishu, with a wonderful Vishukkani and all.*frown*

Now, if you are wondering what is the relevance of the dog's picture, I'll tell you.

Yesterday night, when I was going to sleep, I had certain plans in my mind. I thought that I would open my eyes in front of the idol of Lord Krishna. I wanted to have at least that much of a Vishukkani.

And what happened? Today morning, I woke up with a feeling of moisture on my face. When I opened my eyes, I saw the face of the bugger (whose picture you can see above) up close. He was licking my face. Yuk!! (It's my cousin's pet dog, Sandy.)

Idiot! What the hell have you done? You destroyed my Vishukkani! And I have told you a hundred times that I hate the smell of your saliva. Wouldn't have minded sharing your saliva if you were a beautiful girl. But you are not! bah!

What? Don't try to calm me down with that innocent look of yours. Looks can be very misleading. I, myself am an example of that.

How could you do that? huh? How could you? No wonder people call you a dog. Looking at my face, you felt that this is something worth licking? Oh.. fine. I do understand that it's your way of expressing love. But was it essential to lick my face? About 165 (I wish if I could say I80) centimetres away from that, my feet were there. Didn't you see those? Why didn't you lick it instead of my face? Oh.. leave that idea. Considering the kind of idiot that you are, you would have done that with your ass pointing towards my face and that would have been my Vishukkani. Perfect!

Come on.. To whom am I telling all these? You don't read my blog do you? But I got to give vent to my anger somehow. Try reading my blog sometimes Sandy. Too many human beings don't read it anyways.

Ok.. ok.. no fights over that. You are a very adorable dog. But, only when you are not licking my face.

Happy Vishu folks! Hope you all had a wonderful Vishukkani!!

Ahmedabad journey

Somehow, I have managed to get a B tech degree certificate. What next? Haven't decided on that. Still, when I got the interview call from MICA(Mudra institute of communication, Ahmedabad), I didn't have to think twice. Being a travel enthusiast, a trip to Ahmedabad sounded really nice. So I set out, on 5th night. The interview was on 8th.

***

Off to Mumbai, by a night train with an RAC ticket. The Gujrati gentleman, who shared the side lower birth with me, kept talking to me, about the unique features of the exhaust fans that the company he was working for, manufactured. I had no choice but to pretend to be listening. He also told me that the full form of RAC is nothing other than 'Ro aur chillao' for the night. Later on, he offered me the whole birth, told that he would sleep on the floor.

There was a beautiful girl in the next seat, but of course, with her boyfriend/husband. She was in the upper birth for the night, her bf/huby in the opposite upper birth.

***

Late night. Myself in deep sleep. Suddenly, something fell on me and I jumped up. Whoa! none other than the beauty. May be she was trying to get down from her birth.

"Sorry" . She said.

(No problems, girl. You could fall on me like that a hundred times, and I wouldn't complain. I should've known that you were going to fall. I would not have slept, in that case. )

"It's ok."

Her bf/huby was up by that time, and offering a helping hand would have been a disastrous idea. I swirled back on my birth.

***

Mumbai! I love this city. From there, to Ahmedabad. 6th night. This time, dad is with me, and nobody fell on me at night. While I was waiting for the train at Mumbai central, I kept fidgeting with the number lock of my suitcase, opening and closing it several times.

***

In the hotel room at Ahmedabad. 7th afternoon. I tried to open my suitcase, in which I had kept all my certificates and the dress for the interview, and got astounded, finding that the number had changed, while I was playing with it, the previous day. Three digits, 1000 possibilities. Took a deep breath, started to try out each. Started from 999 and tried backwards. Came up to 600. Then, started from 000, and eventually, found that the number was 070. great! A self pat on the back, for that perseverance shown. Didn't have a choice also.

***

At MICA campus on 8th morning. First, they had the registration process. After that, a short essay writing for fifteen minutes. A business case was given and we had to suggest a solution. I wrote, the most sensible things that I could think of, didn't know how sensible it was, according to the general standards.

***

Then, there was this group exercise. We were divided into groups of 8, and had to perform the given task. They called out the names of my group members. Damn!! seven girls.

"I take a lot of time to fit into a group. Now, that's a group of girls. Makes things worse"

Before I could say something to my group members, there started the GE. (They were all familiar with each other, since all the girls had sat together for the registration.) "Design a garden which promotes harmony and good health." Girls were calling out each others names and were having furious discussions. "Heck!! Why such shit happens to me all the time?"

I tried to give suggestions, but who listens? There went everyone, around the table. There wasn't enough space for all of us to stand. I went and squeezed myself between two of them. wow.. that wasn't bad ;)The girl standing on my right was wearing a sari.

I took a sketch pen in my hand. Didn't have any idea about what to draw. Heard someone talking about a jogging track. So, I started drawing a jogging track, which was nothing other than two parallel lines, along the boundary of the chart paper. I pretended that I was doing something really important. Tried to spend maximum time, drawing it.

"ok, time up" said the professor. There was some kind of a mess on our table.

It was very obvious that I was the odd one out. Straight away, the prof asked me "So Sudeep, please explain what was happening. And also explain how this garden will promote harmony and good health"

Garden.. er.. oh.. this thing on the table. I was sandwiched between two good looking girls all this time. And the prof thinks that I could keep a track of all that happened. Fuck. No way.

I started the explanation, and before I could finish, prof knew that I didn't have much of a clue. He told me to stop.

So, the GE was pathetic. I knew that I didn't stand a chance of selection.

***

I had lost all hope of getting a selection. So just wandered around the campus, alone.

Interview was pretty much ordinary for me. Panel consisted of 3 people, one lady and two gentlemen. The first question was to tell a good thing and a bad thing about Kerala. I said "Kerala is a beautiful place, but people are too conservative." Then, B tech project, tell us about urself, hobbies and some usual questions like that.

Before concluding it, the lady in the panel said. "ok, I'll give you a chance. Ask me a question, and try to make an impression."

I couldn't think of anything impressive. Had a prepared question in my mind, asked that.

"I can look at the emblem of your college in 3 different ways. It can be one triangle placed over another, It can be an 'M' which stands for Mudra, or even it can be an arrow directed in the left - down direction. So what does it actually represent?" (Have a look at the emblem here)

She explained some complicated things with the help of some huge words, and I didn't understand anything, as usual. Kept shaking my head, and pretended that I was really interested in what she was saying.

That concluded the interview.

***

All the candidates were asked to sit in a hall, for the announcement of the results. There was a girl with curly - curly spring like hair, wearing a green top and black pants. My attention was fully on her. Her parents were with her, but I had managed to talk to her once during the day, and so I knew her name. I was listening if her name was there, while the merit list was being announced. There goes my name in between, but I didn't hear it. "Dude you are through" The guy next to me pushed me with his elbow.

"Er.. I am through! Seriously, I don't know why they selected me. ain't a big deal since this doesn't conform the admission. It just enhances the chances of selection"

***

Flashback.. A few days before I started the journey.

"Dad, get me a flight ticket back from Ahmedabad."

"No way.. travel by a train"

"I want to be in a flight. I've never seen the inside of a flight except in movies. at least once. pleeease"

"start earning by yourself and travel. You know, when I was of your age.."

"Stop that dad. Ok.. fine.. I am a worthless idiot and all. But still, can I travel by a plane?"

"Why are you pleading? Earn your own money and do whatever you want"

"Oh come on.. ok.. now let us assume that the speech about growing up independently is all done. now, will you get me a flight ticket?"

(silence)

"Yay!! Em gonna fly!!"

And in the end, I got a ticket, from Mumbai to Bangalore.

***

Inside of Kingfisher Mumbai - Bangalore flight. I was sitting in a window seat. Excited, but tried to act cool, just to make others feel that this is just day today affair for me. I looked around, ensured that no one is looking at me, and clicked a picture of another plane, through the window.

Few more minutes for take off. "Oh my god! who is walking in? Ain't that Konkona sen sharma?. It is..She is not that gorgeous and all, but of course, I like her. Why am I having this feeling that she is looking straight at me?"

My jaw dropped. 'Close your mouth, idiot' I reminded myself

She walked straight up to me and asked "My seat is a few rows behind. will you please go to that seat so that I can sit here?"

"Oh yea.. why not?"

I walked to her seat.

During the flight, I tried to yawn in between to show that I was bored. I even told the gentleman in the next seat

"When will this flight reach Bangalore? I am too bored. I am traveling too much these days"

***

Back at Bangalore. Back to the routine of eating, sleeping and writing meaningless things like this! Hah!

Birthday!

It was my birthday yesterday. The one with lesser importance. At my home, we always celebrate birthdays according to birth star. And it was on March 30th. So, one celebration was already over.

Having your birthday on April 2nd is never an easy thing. Right from your primary school, friends tease u saying that You were one day late. And sometimes, I, being the most absent minded person on earth, justify that. So, it worsens things. But I am pretty much used to it now.

I, myself don't think that birthdays are worth celebrating. What's so special on a birthday? Isn't it a remainder of you being older? In my case, I've turned 22 now. Have to look back at the nonsense that I have done, gotta do better than that. (not bigger nonsense). Gotta be more responsible.

One good thing about birthdays is that, if you remember someone's birthday, and wish them, or give them any gift, they will feel really happy. Especially when that person doesn't expect you to do that. This time, I had hidden my birthday remainder from orkut, just to see if someone remembers it or not. Six people, excluding my close relatives.

Yesterday, I was very keen about not having any celebrations, especially because I've already had one, two days before. But still, my sister bought a cake, hid it from me, and and gave me a surprise. And it made me happy as well.

How to transport a sofa

Isn't that a brave thing to do? I thought that he might be trying to transport it to some 2 - 3 buildings away by pushing the scooter. But, after sometime, he started the scooter and drove off. That too along the roads of Bangalore! The thing should have been resting on it's center of gravity :-)

A hijack plan!! wow!

What a news in the morning!! Bomb found in Bangalore Trivandrum flight. Great! Police say that it could have been a Kandahar model hijack plan. Too good!

They do have a series of security checks, but how did someone manage to get it into the flight? As always, almost all the security measures we have in our country always serve the purpose of troubling the public and fail when it really matters.

Bomb was purportedly made in Kerala. And the officials think that it could have been transported into the flight along with the checked in baggage when the flight was at Trivandrum. If someone could do such a thing, why do we have a check in?

Officials still have explanations. They say at Tvm airport, there is a little distance between where the baggage is scanned and the check in. So, it is possible for someone to slip in something in between that. That distance existed before also, right? Couldn't that been solved before? Do we need to wait till someone jeopardizes the lives of so many passengers?

Now, after the scanning of the baggage is done, don't they seal it? (I don't exactly know. I haven't been on a flight before.) Or do they seal it in such a way that still someone can slip something in?

Whatever, these things are beyond our control. But it looks like Mallus are catching up. A hijack plan, though they missed out this time.

I remember a newspaper report about the security of the railway stations in Mumbai which I read a few months back. A reporter passed through the metal detector in front of CST with a bag full of weapons and the the damn thing didn't respond at all. When the reporter talked to the policeman, he pleaded to him, not to mention his name in the article.

Public can watch, and wait for some action.

The way I used to dress

I have been in this city for the last one week. When I call my friends in Kerala, the first thing that they ask is about the chicks around. And this city is full of beautiful girls, indeed. All of them are very well dressed, and are very keen in showing their beauty to the people around. That makes a huge difference also. It's not that the village that I am hailing from didn't have good looking girls. There, none of them are concerned about make up and all.

Now, talking about the make up, how far do u think a girl will go for maintaining good looks? I don't exactly know, but quite far, I think. Whenever I go to a shopping mall here, I see girls walking on high heels, and some of those are so high that I start feeling that they are walking with stools under their feet.

It's quite evident that people, especially girls, in this city(In other cities also), do care a lot about dressing. And when I compare it with my personal standards, I am deeply embarrassed. When I was staying in hostel, during my B tech days, I used to wear the same jeans for three weeks. Each and every morning(Er,.. okay.. 9.30 is morning.. isn't it?) I would frantically search the heap of clothes in the room and the sole criteria of selecting a particular shirt(pants is fixed for 3 weeks) will be how it smells. Whether it is possible to suppress the smell with my deo. That would be the question being raised.

At least four or five times, I decided to change myself, and started to wash my clothes regularly. It would work fine for two weeks, then again, slowly slowly, it would fall back to the old track.

Such things are forgivable, when you are in a hostel, I think. Now things have changed. I am still pretty unorganized. I still spread chaos all around. I am still absent minded as ever. But I do care a little about my dressing. ('A little' is by my own standards only). Otherwise, I would have easily got thrown out of my house.

Women's day thoughts

People say, it's women's day and all. I see a lot of pictures and articles in the newspaper. They have the pictures of around 50 women, in a supplement, describing them as India's power women or something. Surprisingly,(for me, atleast) it includes Kareena Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra. How did they make it into that list? May be for Priyanka, it was the 'save our environment' campaign and all. (Or was it the bikinis? Em not very sure..) Sitting in an air conditioned room and talking about that topic really makes a difference, you know. Or is it the achievements in the field of acting is what they have considered? Wearing short skirts and dancing with the hero is real tough. That is an achievement, indeed. Apart from 'Jab we met' for Kareena and 'Fashion' for Priyanka, I can't remember any other movies in which they have made a significant contribution.

Why do we have such a day? Wikipedia says "it is a major day of global celebration of women. In different regions the focus of the celebrations ranges from general celebration of respect, appreciation and love towards women to a celebration for women's economic, political and social achievements."

Okay.. that's acceptable. So why don't we have a day for men also? Actually, men are also are subject to discrimination in certain areas. There are certain situations where women do get an advantage over men. Just as an example, consider bloggers. Girls always get more creative comments for their blogs. Really good ones.. Just like "Your writing style is enchanting. Your perspective is a different one.. can i add you in facebook?"

Anyways, happy women's day to all!

Madness, of course!

For the last couple of days, I have been thinking quite a lot. Meaningless things, mostly. But it's cynicism that pervades in most of them. Don't know why.

Why do I have to live? Living in this world is not at all easy. Have to fight some really tough battles. But then, it should really be worth it. What do I really achieve in the end?

No one really cares for anyone else. I can't see love without being mixed with selfishness.

I have got a dream of my own, that's sure. But my life is in a fucken state right now. But that doesn't really mean that I should really abandon it. I got to protect my dream. And I will.

Cynicism doesn't have any answers. But I do turn out to be a cynic in between. But the good thing is that I get over it too quickly.

Actually, life is too simple, I think. Ego makes it complex. The wish to show someone else that u are something good and different. But world couldn't work this way without it also. there are good and bad sides for it. and the important thing is to find proper balance, i think.